Continuing from my last post, once you get the “invitation” to join the Army, you must appear there on a certain day and time. My call was for a small village, called Therma, outside a small town, called Nigrita, near the city of
2 weeks before I went there, I felt great. 1 week before, I still felt great and had a sense of curiosity about the whole deal. 2 days before, I still felt the same way. But the last day, oh boy, it was hard. It is no shame to tell that I cried a lot, looking at my family, my girlfriend, at my friends, the city, everyone and everything I was leaving behind. It felt like I was never going to see them again. Stupid thought, but this is how I felt that day.
I took what courage I had and tried to think positive. My mother and my grandmother(!) drove me to my new home for the next 1,5 month, the duration of the basic military training that is. The road to the camp was difficult. Not for the car, for me. But once we got there, things begun to get in a row. I met two great guys outside, Tolis and Theodoris, and we hung out together until the end of the training. After I signed some papers and got my baggage checked, I said goodbye to my family and went for medical examination, and even more paper filling. People who have been to the Army will tell you that this is one of the most boring days in a soldier’s life. You spend hours and hours waiting for your turn. Hey, at least there is a funny moment: When you get your testicles examined.
They took 6 or 8 of us and put us behind curtains. They asked us to take off our pants and underwear and put our index finger between, you know where, so “we can tell that everything is there where it is supposed to be”. Funny how you concentrate on your surroundings, once you try to avoid looking at the guy opposite to you. First useful stuff you learn at the Army!
Then we got our first meal. I really don’t remember what it was, only that it was pretty good. You know, there are rumors that army food sucks, but that’s not true. It’s not your mama’s, but it is ok. The only issue is that there is a program about it and a repetition. You are going to eat the same menu each week. Spaghetti, beef, pork, bean soup, meatballs and the all popular “gay with Chinese”: Chicken with rice.
Then it was all about interviews and putting us into battalions. After a long afternoon, I entered my battalion’s room and found a bed. Again, nothing terrible here. In fact, the whole situation reminded me of camping. I small – talked to some guys and then slept inside my sleeping bag.
The next day we got breakfast. It was funny to see some people insisting that our branded milk had “anti-koukou”, a dosage of “something that stops your erection as long as you serve”. Bull, I tell you.
Then it was time to dress up like a real soldier. They took us in a warehouse and gave us military clothes, the ones we will be using for the next year. Let me tell, you, it feels kinda cool when you first put them on. Like dressing up for Carnival or Halloween. Only the boots are murder, but everyone gets used to them.
There! After 1-2 days we look and are real soldiers. But that isn’t just enough. What makes a soldier is his training. Forget what you watch in movies. In the Greek Army there are no death pits and 1000 push-ups. But you get to learn your weapon good, you throw grenades, you learn to operate at night, to report on your superiors, to form battle formations, to treat wounds, and many, many more. My advice: Think of it as a different kind of school and don’t get your panties in a bunch. The worst thing that can happen during the first days, is that people complain too often and for ridiculous reasons. And that brings the mood down for the rest. OK, I know we all were used to a better kind of living, but this is the army. People should stop complain and try to, you know, become a man. Stop whining! I remember a guy I’ve met during my serving in my next unit. We were night watch, during March. Temperature was about 20-25 Celsius. He was complaining that it was “too damn cold”! Some days later, during an exercise, day, 25 Celsius, he still was complaining it was “too damn hot”! Or can you imagine: We walked for 15 minutes and he complained that this was “a terrible pain in the ass”! What a wuss!
Training in the training camp is fun. You get to enjoy your and other people’s mistakes and goofs. You get to know people and your superiors. BTW, they may be responsible for some hard time, but they are funny. They’ve found the point and they make fun of it. I remember my battalion chief, a second-lieutenant, during some push-ups he got us doing in the field. “Lower, men!” he kept yelling, “lower! So you can feel the pulse of the Earth!”… Or during night training: He was asking about the uniform colors of each nation.
During the training, you will get to guard some posts for 2 or 3 hours. I remember, my first post was the main gate. So, this particular second – lieutenant coming over me to see if I was doing alright. The following dialogue is 100% real:
-Everything alright, soldier?
-Yes, sir!
-You keep your eye on the road. Any suspicious person or vehicle comes by, mark them well. We don’t want you waking one day and discovering that you are missing a liver, o lung, your heart (!). If anyone attacks you, let him know the power of your weapon!
-Yes, sir!
Great guy, I hope he is still doing fine.
There even was a very effeminate drill sergeant that during exercises, he told us that he will “bring our bodied to melting point” or that he could “warm us up, if we feel cold”, meaning that if you answered “yes”, you’d be taking some push-ups in order to, well, warm up. He proved to be a great guy too.
Our captain was a funny guy as well. He introduced himself like the “man who will make your lives hard! I have one daughter and I live…” Come on! Who is trying to be menacing and then tell you about his family and stuff? He was funny when we took our first weekend off. He said “If someone gets sick, you can bite your lip and get back here, we have excellent doctors. If someone breaks a leg, he can still come here. If he breaks both legs, thentwo of his friends should carry him here. And if someone dies, the BRING ME HIS COFFIN AND PUT IT RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF ME! None is gonna be missing on Monday morning, understood?” A friend of mine commended “it’s 7 o’ clock in the morning for fuck’s sake, what is he talking about coffins?” LOL!
And I will never forget the first time someone (a friend of mine) dropped with gun. This is a mortal sin to do while in the training centre. The captain called him to report himself. The soldier started “well…it just fell… I couldn’t…”, only to be interrupted by the yelling of the captain: “Girlie! Ballerina! Doofus! DOOFUS! How dare you apologize?(!)” Doofus? What kind of lame word is that?
Well, that’s about the training camp. You won’t expect me to tell you everything that transpires in there, don’t you? After all, this is considered to be “classified” information. Plus, you may got bored. I mean, how much army can you handle? If you don’t like it, tell me to change subject. Still, I will try and focus more specifically to people and situations. Following next: I-balls! ;-)
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