The Golden Mediocrity

I know I promised I'd write about my new iPod touch, but this can wait. Instead, I have an obligation and a duty to protect you from watching "The Golden Compass"!

TGC is a fantasy story, set in a parallel universe. The whole premise is that science and religion face each other, while the main character, a girl named Lyra is travelling across dimensions. As with every movie based on a book, I recommend reading the book first (and if!). The writer, English teacher Phillip Pullman, tried his best to create something different than "Lord of the Rings" and yet, to be it's equal. For many fans, His Dark Materials trilogy is considered an epic and original story, equal to LOTR and the best fantasy since ages...

RUBBISH! The movie is so horrid, it deserves to focus on several points seperatelly...

The acting: LOTR had amazing performances from almost every actor. Even some Orcs have memorable lines! In TGC, only Daniel Craig is saved, followed by the great sir Ian McKellen, who only performs as a voice over for the armoured bear Jorek and Sam Elliot, who performs decently. Craig is amazing, you wouldn’t believe how much class and energy he resonates, and as Lord Azriel is great cast and underused. He is on screen for 5 minutes total, and he owns them. His mannerisms, small gestures, intonation, you’ll have to rent the DVD and only watch his scenes to understand.

McKellen, on of the links to the LOTR trilogy, is superb. When the main character, Lyra, meets the armoured bear, Jorek, behind a small town store, the bear responds by standing tall, nearly as a human and then the booming voice of the man who was Magneto and Gandalf Is heard: It’s like it’s coming from the depths of the earth, it made the theatre tremble and it was supposed to be like that, right? Along with Ray Winstone’s voice for “Beowulf”, it was the best voice acting this year.

Sam Elliot is greatly stereotypically cast as air cowboy Lee Skorsby. You just know he’s gonna play the part on auto pilot and he’d be believable and acceptable. Nothing more, nothing less.

The rest is crap… Ignoring the fact that actors like Derek Jacobi and Christopher fuckin’ Lee are having 5 dialogue lines spoken (!!!), there is a bunch of unknown actors doing their worst impersonations of actors impersonating other characters. There is even a Gimli wannabe!

The main lead, Dakota Blue Richards, a newcomer and “a revelation”, as some magazines called her, is so inexperienced and seems lost among the green screens and the menir called Nicole Kidman.

Ah, the Academy Award® Winner Nicole Kidman. Her casting as Miss Coulter seemed like one of the all-time best. She is exactly as described in the book, only blonde. Which is, the book said that her hair was black, but I still kept imagining her as Nicole Kidman. But she acts so bored and bland in the movie! She is worse than a wooden mannequin. She speaks with such a pretended surprise and fake elegance, it’s unbearable. Whenever she appeared on screen, I couldn’t decide if I want to close my eyes or shut my ears. She is the exact opposite of Daniel Craig.

Eva Green is rescued by the fact that she is hot and appears on screen no more than 5 minutes. She seems to suffer from Kidmanitis in this film, but I can’t tell for sure. Her most annoying scene can be seen in various trailers, where she has the “I-kill-a-bad-guy-like-he’s-nothing” look when she kills a bad guy.

Let’s just pretend the acting is OK. There is an even bigger problem with the pacing. Forget that the whole story seems like it’s taking place during a weekend. There are scenes that drag along like an Theo Aggelopoulos movie, so boring and empty… People are talking and I was sitting there, waiting for them to stop, to move to the next scene, but no… A guy, sitting next to me, fell asleep, I shit you not! He even snarled! Rarely I felt the urge to stand up and leave the theatre – not because the guy next to me made funny noises, bur because the movie sucked!

What about the script and the story? Well, let me tell you, I’ve read the book. There is this strange thing going on with it: It is a mix of brilliant originality, preposterous thievery (from other fantasy books) and literary mediocrity. But some reason, when you read it for the first time, it feels grand and epic. Looking back, I realise this is not the case. Compare it to LOTR or Stephen King’s Dark Tower and it’s lost. So, it is a great trilogy, as long as it is not compared to other books!

Another strange thing is that, even if I had read the books, a long time ago, I still couldn’t make out what the characters were talking about in the movie!!! They keep talking about Dust and parallel universes and about the “prophesies of the witches”. Aaaargh, enough with the stupid prophesies already! Even after “Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace”, adding kids and prophesies in the mix seems like the worse idea ever and people still utilize it! Usually the world is at stake, here we talk about worlds. What makes the whole thing even more cheesy, is the fact that I don’t remember anything about a “prophesy” in the book, which means the script writer put in the idea. Because, what’s more original than a kid fulfilling an ancient prophesy, saving the world and learning an important lesson on the way.

So, what’s good? A few things, unfortunately. Besides the 2,5 actors doing a good job, the production values are top notch. Every setting, building, vehicle and little gimmick in Lyra’s world is interesting, original and well created. The effects are good, but nowadays nothing special – you’ve seen a CGI animal, you’ve seen it all.

My advice? If you are a casual moviegoer, stay away from this movie. If you are a harcore geek with a thing for fantasy, watch it on an illegally downloaded dvd.

Ebenezer Screw

Hello to all. It's been a long time since I wrote my last post and that's due to the fact that I am working 9 hours straight every day now and all my free time goes to rest. Christmas season, you see. Christmas...

I remember a time when this term use to mean something to me. I remember being a 12-year old, returning home after my PC lessons, singing Christmas songs while I was riding my bike. Cold air was entering my lungs, but I didn't care: There was something in the air, you know, just before it begins to snow. And I know that there was this huge Christmas tree waiting in the living room - oh, I could stand there and stare it for hours.

My mom put quite an effort every year to make the best possible Christmas tree and there was candy and presents and all that. Oh, and snow. There was a lot of snow, even for Trikala.

Now, there's misery and global warming. It snows for 2 hours and people call it "dangerous weather". I am not wating Christmas in order to rejoice, but because I will get 2 days of rest. I don't have a Christmas tree in my room. I don't even have those preety, little lights because they cost and eletricity costs as well. Plus, I don't have time to put all those lights into place, even if I had them. My mom is working alongside dad in Germany. My brothers are going there too, while I have to stay here to work.

The juxtaposition of Christmas is a middle-aged man, complaining about the cellphone bill on the cellphone company's hotline, in my shop, while "Last Christmas" is heard from the sound system. People lost the sense of the Holidays, and of course I know that this didn't happen this year or the last one. It's something gradual. The roots of this "issue" lie somewhere between economics, negativity and modernisation. Christmas is (was?) the ultimate kiddie phantasy, a time zone where everything felt like it came out of a story.

Nowadays, one does celebrate the Holidays because it MUST be that way! Not because it feels that way. The message is long forgotten - baby Jesus came to Earth, end of story. Seems the proper way to celebrate is to buy a cellphone for junior, a talking & shitting doll for our baby girl and then dance until morning on some table in bouzoukia or leave a dance club with alcohol pouring down your ears. OK, I am not suggesting that everyone should run to the church either. As with all things, the optimal optimum (optimus?) lies somewhere in the middle.

I think people should first and foremost remember how it felt to be a kid during Christmas. Forget about how expensive oil is, how much this toy or gadget costs, or how loud your boss yelled at you this morning. Focus on your loved ones, your kids, your girlfriend/boyfriend, your family, your friends. Try to combine western holiday feeling - Wham!, Christmas carol, the Tree, etc - with your country's tradition - little boats, traditional candy, tsoureki from Terkenlis (ok, this one is mine!), songs and customs of your country.

With the danger of making this post too cheesy or far too sentimental, I'll stop here. It might be the fact that I am dissapointed by what I see in my job, with all those customers entering the shop only to complain or being dragged by kids who wanna buy the latest cellphone or PS3. Sorry if I took you down today, but I promise, the next post will be different and a more joyful reading: I am buying my self a holiday present - an iPod Touch! Stay tuned for first impressions!

Iraklis - Vazelos 0-0.5

As strange at it may seem, today we didn't journey to another city. We didn't even left the neighborhood. Instead, we spent 3 times as much to go and watch a football game between Iraklis Saloniki VS PAO Athens. "We" meaning Mitsos, my brother Alexis and yours truly.

It is known that I am a supporter of Olympiakos Piräus, objectively speaking the BEST team in Greece and soon in Europe. However, I also support Iraklis. This team usually plays good football and several great players appear to the roster. Occasionaly, when Olympiakos comes here to play against Iraklis, I try to go to the stadium and watch some, ahem, quality football.

However, since Mitsos is a full blue blooded supporter of Iraklis, he convinced me to watch his team against Veroia and now against PAO. Panathinaikos and Olympiakos are arch rivals since the dawn of time, so there was aone more reason why I should root for Iraklis. So, I took my brother along and went to the Kaytatzogleio Stadium.

Lots of people there and it is natural: PAO, for some reason, is considered a great and popular team. We found Mitsos near the ticket booth. We expected the ticket to cost about 20€, since we wanted to sit in near the vip seats, where you can watch the game more pleasantly and have a shelter in case of rain; it was a cold and moisty day. We got even more colder when we've learned that tickets cost 30€ each! With heavy heart we paid and Mitsos lost a great bit of his enthusiasm...

Once inside, the overall atmosfaire was preety good.


Lots of people, families, and many women were there. Players of both teams doing their training... There was nothing to worry about. We were wrong...

As soon as the game started, both teams seemed stuck in the middlefield. It was as there were no strikers on the team formations...BO-RING! People started to get uneasy when they noticed that the assistant refferi was stoping the offensives (?) of Iraklis and the air was reeking of tension. When Panathinaikos scored a lucky goal in the 27th minute, there was no stoping for the fans of Iraklis...

The half time was uninteresting as the rest of the game, but then came a note of joy: A father left his son go in the field and play some passing game with the Panathinaikos substitute players! Although I dislike a father who teaches his son to grow up and become a supporter of Panathinaikos, it was a nice image and even Mitsos had a faint hint of a smirk.

In the second half, Iraklis tried to even the score and it could have been so, if the refferi didn't cancel the goal that was scored in 72'! That was it! The fans went on a rampage and many guys begun speaking French. The announcer, pleading for the fans to support their team and ignore the PAO fans, only made things worse...



Iraklis tried in vain to score another goal, but the players simply couldn't. Panathinaikos won, with a lucky goal and we left the stadium dissapointed, cold and a lot poorer. But what matters is that I watched a game with my brother and my friend and, hey, it's not like we are doing this every day, right?

Kavala They Go To Churh feat. A Dramatic Trip part 2

Yes, you've guessed right: It's another trip to a Greek city for this week! This time it was Kavala. A beautiful city, a miniature version of Thessaloniki, as I had in mind, since I went there 8 years ago. I recall liking it there a lot; I even thought I could study there. Only a few km away from Drama, it seemed like a good destination. Mitsos was once again our capable and willing driver. Nicoleta accompanied us as she did last time, but the other girls didn't follow. :-(


We left at 10 a.m. from Salonica, with excellent weather conditions, we stoped to refuel and hitch Nicole, and then we drove, well, Mitsos did, to Kavala. This time I was prepared for Asprovalta. This place intrigues me inexplicably. It is probably nothing more than a normal town next to the sea, but for some reason I feel like I must visit it. This will probably sound very movie-like to you, but I can't express it with other words. Take a look at this picture and be sure that one day you will read about it here. Except if Asprovalta is Purgatory...

Driving by the sea, we reached Kavala after almost 2 hours. The city looked fabulous from above. You have to understand that the city is built on a cliff, like sliding towards the sea. Mitsos drove to the city port and we went on to take a walk.

The city looked as a mini Thessaloniki, as I told you: Cafeterias, taverns, small or bug shops, banks, all gathered nice and tidy. Too nice might add: It was so quiet, it felt strange. Few people were taking a walk, mostly old folks. Some fishermen (damn me if any of them was Greek!) were selling some fish and generally there were no cars. Oh crap! As soon as I thought of it, 2 Lamborghinis appeared, followed by a Porsche Cayenne! I am a fast revolver with my digital camera, but the Lamborghinis were faster and so I missed the chance to take a shot at them and get cursed by their drivers...

I did get cursed later though: After taking some pictures with Nikoletta, I noticed that there were some little carton-made goblins on the middle of the port. These "goblins/gremlins", part of the Greek tradition, are supposed to come on Earth from the underworld and do any kind of mischief, before the birth of Christ drives them away. Cute story, right? Teaches you not to fear evil shit, as long as you have faith. Now, these "goblins" were supposedly trying to sink the Greek "karavaki", the small ship, another Greek, traditional thingy. Also, they were depicted as stealing rabbits, pigeons and all kinds of stuff, as the folklore tales have told. I repeat: VERY traditional.
My girlfiriend alway makes fun of me, calling me names and stuff, since I tease her all the time, so I thought it would be fun to take a picture next to a "goblin". Then all hell broke loose! I wish I could write to you about how these "goblins" came to life and attacked us, but this would be too good. No, it had to be some kind of I-don't-know-how-to-call-her middle-aged lady, who started complaining because I was "hugging the devil". She closed in, like wanting to observe the hideous act, when I got up and told her that it was ok and I was jsut making fun of it. Shhe kept mumbling about how all "this stuff insults Christmas and how does the major dare to allow these atrocities to be put here, defiling the traditional boat, yadda yadda yadda the devil wears yadda why not little angels bla bla bla" and she won't quit even as I and Nicole were apologising. Our mistake, I know; we should have left as Mitsos did, but I jsut can't turn my back to an elderly person, even if she is a half-crazed one. As I walked away, I felt sorry for the 3-4 girls that were going to take some photos as I tried to do. Because, as I realized later, Nicole didn't shot a photo! The crazy lady won and my soul was saved...

After walking around for some time, we decided to go and grab a bite. We found some fish taverns and we chose the one called "Beautiful Mitiline", for obvious reasons. I enjoyed the food and the antics of Mitsos, as he was desperately trying to open his ouzo, remind us of good, old times.
The food was very good, and I enjoyed the company of cats, those gentle creatures that my girlfriends seems to be afraid of. Taking a bit of a small shock, after paying the bill, we decided to go walking again, so we can enjoy the view and digest at the same time. What better way to do that by walking up the city's acropole?

I liked the neighborhoods, all stone roads and old houses, but still, it was too damn' quiet! We reached a place where you could see most part of the city...

but we decided to go and check what lies behind the hill. Well, big surprise: More sea and a view of the eastern part of the city. The island of Thasos could be seen in the distance.

Nikoletta found some stairs leading to the beach, so we decided to go and check it out. It was all rocks and stones, but it was relaxing and beautiful.
Goind down was easy, but the hard part of going up lied ahead... Still, we managed to return to our car, safe and sound, but something was calling to us... a need to be fullfilled... a desire of some sorts... yes, Drama and Remvi were calling!

The waiter went to meet his guests. Three they were and clearly not from Drama.
-What is it? What do you want?
-We simply want a small token. A portion of coffee and sugar, in order to make frape.
-Coffee and sugar, eh? You will find plenty of both down there (shows to them a ΚΑΠΗ)
-This is blasphemy! This is madness!
-Madness? This..is.. REMVIIIIII!!!

Yes! The near-legendary bar cafe in Drama was calling to us! We called Natalia to come and join us, and find out what this place of myth was all about. As soon as we arrived in Drama, house music was heard. We assumed that it might came from the winter fair that was on the city park, but, alas, it was music from Remvi. Beat music at 16:30? You bet! Remvi was nearly full of people, with loud music coming from boxes both in- and outside the building. I was worried that we might need a pass that proves that we are from Drama or else we couldn't seat, but fortunately nothing of the sort happened. We were fortunate and blessed to find a four-seat table, outside, so we could taste what was considered the most divine thing after mana fell from the sky: Remvi's drinks!

We ordered frape and a pineapple juice... The service was good and the bar was nicely decorated, with good looking people inside. But what the hell was wrong with the coffee? It tasted like a leaked fluid from some ventilation pipe or something. It was like a thick, gluey fluid, which I can only assume happened because the frape was done with a machine (insolence!) rather by hand. But it tasted horrible! Was it because the waiter realized that we weren't locals? I don't know... I only drunk 2-3 sips, like Mitsos and then we gave up. At this moment, Natalia appeared. She was happy to see us, as were we. Now, don't ask me why I don't have any photos; it was getting dark and I was still in awe of finally sitting in Remvi, the Mecca of Drama, the foundation of Drama's nightlife. :-P Natalia's friends, the two Marias (!) came also by and we talked a bit. Very nice and pleasant girls, they explained to us that there was some kind of afternoon party going on, therefore the loud music. I enjoyed talking to them, but we had to go, because Mitsos needed to return to Kozani. Still, I am wondering how he managed to escape Remvi's calling. Perhaps it was because we refused to drink our frape. Mitsos took us by force, but we promised to return.

Will it be next week? Will it be Drama? Litohoro? Bulgaria maybe? Xanthi? It might not be far away. It might even be a dark room in the Village Center Cosmos. Stay tuned!